orgasm and penetration they constitute a binomial uncertain. Now that much of the discourse on the female body focuses on “what is real” and true, on the climax there is also a melon to open. And what a melon.
The cinema, above all, has taken care of showing us heterosexual couples having intercourse with some final ‘mascletás’ that crack the concrete. Ladies moaning, ladies screaming, ladies enjoying themselves. All in a few minutes (when not seconds) and through the sexual practice of penetration. In these scenes, clitoral stimulation is usually conspicuous by its absence.
Then, when you try to land that in your bedroom… it doesn’t come out. Or it comes out ‘more ordinary’. Or she fakes it (and something else, butterfly). This is counted less, because the bragging Instagram has not invented it with its happy photos, but it has dragged on the same years as the traditional ‘I eat one and I count 20’. This verbiage was more of the male feud but many times we also signed up for that car.
Whether out of modesty or posturing, the fact is that everything that surrounds the real sex it is told in petit committee, which does not favor the creation of real stories. So today it’s time to review what is true about female orgasms through intercourse, if they exist or if they are not and are not expected.
what women say
MD, 32 years old, does not have a stable partner and explains: “I can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation, I have to stimulate it myself with my fingers or with toys. Penetration for me is something nice but I never reached orgasm just like thiswithout other physical contact.
She admits that now she can talk about real sex with her friends, but that before she was 25 another rooster was singing: “The conversations on this subject were very superficial. It was like ‘sex has been incredible’, when it really wasn’t. So You didn’t have to admit that it wasn’t what we were supposed to expect from it.”
CL, 31 years old and with a stable partner, more or less the same: “I can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation, I have to stimulate it myself. I can’t get it any other way,” she says. She prefers not to talk about it much with friends, so as not to fall into comparisons. .
Lastly, 35-year-old LS declares that it has always been very difficult for her to have orgasms with her partners, and that it is something that has happened to her very rarely. “I have had three stable partners in my life and with two of them I never managed to have an orgasm during penetration. With the partner with whom I did reach him with penetration, most of the times he had to accompany me by my hands during intercourse, “he says.
On the other hand the oral sex it has given her a better ‘result’, and she almost always reaches orgasm. And another efficient way: “I can do it by masturbating alone, especially when I use a toy to help me,” she concludes.
Six out of 10 women need direct clitoral stimulation
Rosa Navarro, sexologist at the erotic shop diversefor the peace of mind of so many who believe they have a problem, says: “It is quite common not to arrive to orgasm only with penetration, especially when performing positions in which there is no direct stimulation of the clitoris. In fact, for a large percentage of women, direct stimulation of the clitoris is a requirement to reach orgasm during intercourse”. 62.6% of women needs directly stimulate the clitoris to reach it.
Navarro also explains that for many it is easier to achieve an orgasm in solo self-stimulation. “There is less pressure, we feel more liberated and it seems that we do not have to answer to anyone if we do not succeed. This detail and above all the fact of going directly to what we know we like, without intermediaries, makes it easier for us to relax and be able to develop our erotic capital more freely without fear of being judged”, ditch.
No, there are not two different types of orgasms
According to Diversual’s sexologist, an orgasm produced by clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation are physiologically the same. The narrative of the existence of two different types has become very outdated and even more so the idea that if a woman did not experience both, she was incomplete. To combat these false beliefs, Navarro is clear: “True and quality information, transmitted from an environment of naturalnesswithout neglecting the importance of rigor and scientific evidence”.
Ana Lombardía, expert in well-being and sexual health of the online store womanizer, redunda: “It is important to remember that the orgasm occurs in the brain, and that it may be different practices, situations or stimulation of different parts of the body that trigger it. If a woman finds penetration very exciting and G-spot stimulation is pleasurable, she may orgasm. That does not mean that all women can, or should, get it that way. It’s not better or worse to have an orgasm one way or another.”
So why all the noise about climaxing with penetration? “In most cases, this obsession with vaginal orgasms It has more to do with men than with women. Many times men feel that if women have orgasms only with vaginal penetration -that is, with their penis- and without clitoral stimulation, it is because they are better lovers, more virile and masculine”continues the Womanizer sexologist.
So… some pretend
According to the Diversual survey, the 67.8% of women have faked an orgasm on occasion. And if we segment by age, 61.2% of the strip 18-24 years has ever faked an orgasm; 68.4% from among 25-35; 73.4% from among 36-45, 69.9% from among 46-55: Y 54.2% of those who exceed 60 years.
Ana Lombardía explains that, indeed, many women fake their orgasms because they feel that they are expected to climax during penetration and that it is common to think that other women can.
“Others, although they know that the most frequent thing is that women do not reach orgasm only with penetration, they also pretend to Don’t hurt the ego of your teammates. masculine, to be more sexual, to try to get them to love them, or simply to avoid a difficult and uncomfortable conversation,” he concludes.
But the remedy, as Rosa Navarro said, is “quality information” and self-knowledge of the female body. “There is still a great lack of knowledge about the anatomy of one of the most important points of our pleasure: the clitoris. A lot of pedagogy is necessary, but also still investing in research on sexuality,” she claims.
And he explains that it was not until 1998 when Helen O’Connell described in detail the true anatomy of the clitoris. “We are talking about an organ designed solely to provide pleasurebut to which previously it had never been given the attention it obviously deserves,” he concludes.