I started to fade wither away. I had achieved the dream of my life, what I had been fighting for and what seemed like a path to it. success in my professional career, but I was not happy. And I broke. It was a mistake, I sold my soul to the devil,” explains Coral Yunquera.
Graduated in Personal Development and leadership from the Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona, with a couple of master’s degrees on her curriculum and after 8 years in England, she was more than ready to find a good job. And she did it in one of the Business with the most potential of the moment, Amazon. She then felt flattered, shortly after her dream turned into a nightmare. “I did not enjoy a day of my worked. He would lock me in the bathroom to cry and punish me for not enjoying an experience that not everyone can get,” explains Coral.
Her desire to throw it all away was not the result of the company or her colleagues treating her badly, quite the opposite. “She had a good Leader, super talented, and I knew a lot of people around me who were very good there, but it was not my case. They neither treated me badly nor did they exploit me nor did I have a bad boss or companions horrible. The issue It wasn’t the company, it was that I had let them dazzled with a career projection and a great salary. It just wasn’t for me,” she says.
“Suddenly I became tinywas surrounded by profiles very powerful and I thought, ‘what am I doing here?’ I fell into the famous impostor syndrome. I never felt like I fit in with the team, I wasn’t myself, I was tense all day, I didn’t enjoy my work and every time I affected more and more”.
Coral Yunquera, HR Content Specialist at Factorial.
These are sufficient reasons to put our emotional health. “If we start to think negatively about ourselves or about a specific situation, we begin to produce changes chemicals at a cerebral level and we will begin to feel bad, sad, fearful, insecure…”, explains Manuel Escudero, a clinical psychologist and specialist in emotion management at work. “It is not the events that cause one to feel in a certain way, but the interpretation that is made of the situation. Our thoughts they become the main source of our disturbance.”
Dealing with emotional well-being
There is no doubt about the important role played by the mind to achieve the desired emotional well-being: 93% of Spaniards consider that this can make us feel better or worse about the same situation, according to a report carried out for Rescue, which also states that not feeling well emotionally especially affects the sleep -42% say they do not sleep well and wake up at night- and to work: 32.6% say they are highly strung and restless, not focusing on anything.
“The mind is the one who creates reality, everything good and bad that happens to us, emotional well-being depends on how we interpret a situation,” also points out David Gómez, an expert coach in mental focus. “When work overwhelms us and takes us to the limit, it is usually due to an imposed self-demand and the search for perfectionism. It is something that happens more to women, perhaps because of their education, and that can generate a self-esteem problem; the imposter syndrome It is based on the fact that you do not value yourself. Of course you deserve that job, otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten it, but there’s a part of you that doesn’t believe it,” says this professional, creator of the NeuroFocus System mental program, which defines itself as a mind trainer and has more than 15 years working with emotions.
Not finding her place in the company took a toll on Coral; accurate therapy and the help of a psychologist who provided tools to handle the situation. “I knew I needed a change, to rethink my career and find space for myself, but taking the step requires a courage that you don’t always have and sometimes it’s a luxury you can’t afford, especially when you have children. Fortunately it was not my case “, she adds.
know how to stop
At those times you also need a emotional environment that accompanies because the social pressure play against you. “You have a preconceived idea of what a professional career should be, it seems that there is only one path to success, the one that leads from intern to director. Many people will be happy that way, but it is not the only way, there are more options for each type of person. For me it was not enough,” says Coral. Therefore, even though she knew that she was wrong, she decided endure, a year, what is necessary so that it does not harm him later when it comes to getting another job. “But it’s a lie, no matter how bad you are, you never leave it, you go on and on… In front of your emotional well-being you always place your career, salary, prestige…”.
But you have to know stop. “You know when something is for you and when it’s not, even if you don’t want to see it. The key to recognizing the moment is in the physical sensations, You have to listen to the body. If you feel sad and distress, ask yourself what happens inside you; the answer will make you make a decision from a point of tranquility, even if it is to leave your job”, he assures David Gomez.
For Anvil Coral the decision came in the form of dismissal, “something that is sometimes sought unconsciously in these situations,” explains Gómez. “We ended well, my boss was very kind to me, but when one person is not well it affects the rest,” says Coral. Still, she hurt him. “I went white. Having the settlement in hand implies a very complicated process, you need to manage the acquired patterns of what success is, you have to unlearn to relearn. It’s hard because at that moment the faultyou think ‘I’ve had it and it got away’, I didn’t realize it was the best thing for everyone, I needed freedom.”
How to manage that fault? From her experience, now, after a few months of respite, as part of the Human Resources team at the Factorial company, Coral encourages being “foul-mouthed, to tell what happens without keeping quiet about anything. If they kick you out, you have to say so, not sweeten the situation. It is the first taboo to be broken and the first step to get rid of the shame and the guilt. They are emotions that anchor you, that prevent you from moving forward and turning the page”. self-criticism, Explain. “Sometimes you’re at a great company that treats you well, but you’re bad, and you shouldn’t hold others accountable for it.”
In addition, David Gómez explains, the keys to good management of emotions in the company can be summarized in three: understanding, forgiveness and acceptance. “Stop treating yourself badly, every negative thought generates cortisol and this substance causes stress. Change your inner dialogue and think about how you would talk to your best friend. And if you’re wrong, don’t beat yourself up, it’s not something you did on purpose. Accept yourself as you are because that has led you to occupy that job position, you have nothing to show“he insists.
Together with this, the best way to be motivated in our work, points out the expert, is to “focus on what positive and see what we don’t like not as a punishment, but as a learning for that moment or for the future. We learn a lot from everything negative.” And one last piece of advice for relax: “Always think that nobody forces you to put up with that situation, you can always leave,” adds Gómez. Coral Yunquera is now clear: “If something is not for you, move on“.